Friday, May 29, 2015

THE CRUX OF THE MATTER

THE CRUX OF THE MATTER


As soon as I reached the abode of our family’s Crown Prince, he declared:
“Mom, I am going to buy a new car…Come what may!”
“Ok dear, but at the moment, can I enter your new residence and relax a bit. I am tired after the long journey”, I said.
 “Yes, of course” said he.

 The smiling bright faced, my DIL no 1, took me by my hand very lovingly and I entered the house. My younger grandson brought me a glass of cold water.
I was very pleased to see the tastefully decorated drawing room and all the other parts of the house. I knew my stay over here will be very pleasant in the loving company of this family.

Next morning when I woke up and came out, the lush green carpet grass, the sitting arrangement under the beautiful sun umbrella in the garden made me very happy. I enjoyed the cool breeze in the morning along with the breakfast.
I forgot all my problems and decided to enjoy the blissful stay with the people who loved me and cared for me.

When I met the Crown Prince after his breakfast he started, “Mom, did you notice yesterday how far we are from the Hyderabad town?”
“Yes dear, it is indeed quite far!” said I.
“And did you notice how secluded is our quarters from the main road?”
“Yes son, I noticed that too!”
“I hope you now understand the need for me to buy a second car. Because when I take our car to my work place my dear Wifey will be stuck as there is no public transport available around the place.”
 He tried to convince me. “But I am already convinced baba! You people do need a second vehicle. Just like in America-why now also in India, if people stay in a location just like yours!” was my reply.
“That’s what I have been trying to tell you for so long but you didn’t believe earlier” said the Prince.

I was baffled, confused and tried hard to remember if I had made any contradiction to his plan. I was sure I hadn’t.
Anyway, on the third, fourth and the fifth day same second car topic was discussed and discussed and discussed.

“Darling, what type of car would you like? A small smart one or a big utility type?” Prince would ask Her Royal Highness!

“Don’t ask me this question again and again. Whatever model I will mention, you will have something to contradict my choice.” The lady would say grudgingly.
“Dad, can we go for Renault Lodgy which you drove the other day for trial? It has got a beautiful interior and advanced technology. It also has a dual AC with roof mounted vents for second and third row AND a six speed gear box. It will be a great pleasure to go on long trips in it. Please Dad, lets buy it” said the next generation Crown Prince. He looked totally enamoured by the car’s superb accessories, interiors, boot space etc. I could see his gleaming eyes imagining himself in the driver’s seat, now that he has a newly acquired driving license.

But to his dismay, his practical old man poured cold water by saying “Money doesn’t grow on trees, Sunny! I can’t afford it even though I would love to have it.”

The second in the line of Princes butted in. “Then why not Amazingly Indian Honda? It has aerodynamic design and attractive styling and also the audio-visual navigation. It also has a large boot space and gives 25.8kmpl, which means not much spending on fuel. It also has a rear seat armrest with drink holder. I can always have my Pepsi without spilling it and soiling the seats!”

“Have you finished dreaming about the beauty which is not within our reach, Darling boy! Let us think about something that fits in our budget” said my down to earth son to his younger Prince.

A few days went by in discussion, discussion and more discussion!!! In the meantime my son wanted me to go with him for a test drive in the famous Renault Duster. I politely declined the offer as my health was not upto it.
When all of them came back after the ride, they all were floating in the magical experience. They couldn’t stop telling each other about the various apps such as one touch indicator, electrically adjustable ORVMS, trunk storage space, smoked headlamps, rear defogger, wiper and washer with timer, cruise control etc.

Though I did not understand their language which was full of short forms, I enjoyed seeing their joy and excitement. They would have given their right hand if they could have a large sum of money which was needed to bring their dream car home. At the end of the day, as all Moms would do, I asked the most unwarranted question. “What is your budget for the new car, dear? And how are you going to fund it?”

“Mom, my budget is XXX lakhs. I am not going to take any loan and pay installments which in the end amounts to paying double of the original cost.”

“Good. I appreciate your stand” But then that xxx lakhs…there must have been a question mark on my face.

 “I am going to withdraw it from our savings of the years. We saved and saved meticulously. My better half planned the saving part well that today we are in a position to afford the luxury of having the cake and eating it too!” said the Crown Prince.

His better half, Her Highness was mighty pleased to hear the words of praise and appreciation from her hubby. I too felt proud and appreciative of their achievement. But again I disbursed motherly unasked for suggestion cum advice. “Wow, that’s quite a lot of money. If I were you, I would have bought another small car and a two wheeler out of it.”

“No way Mom, Never!! All of my life till now, I have driven a small car. Now it’s high time that I buy a big amazing all-round car and no one can stop me from buying one.” He looked at his wife to see her reaction.

“Darling, I too want you to own a big car” said she and added “What is the use of saving money and not use it when we are young and healthy to enjoy the driving trips? This is what you always say, isn’t it? I fully agree with you in this respect.”

“I have zeroed in on Maruti Ciaz! It fulfills most of my expectations and also fits my budget. I am going to book it right now.”

“See I always told you about it but you never listened. We get posted to remote places and only Maruti has service centers around them. So maintenance won’t be a problem. Plus it has all the comforts too!”

At last Her Highness had won! Isn’t she ALWAYS THE WINNER!!

08/05/2015                                                                  Jyoti


Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Dubai Delite!



We six were a kind of mix and match menu on DILs platter. Six women of different temperament bundled together for five days and out of these – 3 senior citizens – It was quite a challenging task for DIL! The aircraft landed at the Dubai airport. DIL told all members of the group to stick together and told them to gather near the conveyor belt in case they were separated in the immigration line.

DIL accompanied MIL who was put on the wheelchair. MIL was amazed to see the wonderful ambience of Dubai airport. Discipline, richness and tasteful decor was amply visible everywhere.

DIL’s idea of engaging a wheelchair for MIL really made sense as when all the members of the group gathered near the belt, they all told DIL to make a request for wheelchair for remaining two senior citizens too, as too much walking had tired them out. The young ladies enjoyed the walk on walkalator. They had noted down the beautiful items displayed in the shopping windows.

Ye to bus nazara hai...aage aage dekho hota hai kya”said DIL

Looking at a group of ladies without any male member accompanying them they were allotted a huge 8 seater taxi with a female driver.

Everybody was looking forward to rush into the bed as soon as possible. Three rooms for six people were allotted and since no one had energy to discuss anything they decided to sleep.

Next morning around 8 o clock Dubai time, DIL knocked on everyone’s door and asked everyone to reach the dining room for buffet breakfast.

“After the breakfast we are going to a much better hotel next door” said she.

Everyone was starving as they had  had early dinner on the flight.

There was a lovely spread of tempting breakfast menu. Different kinds of bread, butter, cheese, jam, tofu, eggs cooked in various styles,  non-veg items, fruits and fruit juices, tea, milk, cereals – you name it and the item was available.

Cheerful crowd of tourists from different countries were enjoying the breakfast and were talking in hushed tones.

When the gaggle of geese arrived and started conversing in their high pitched tones, everyone turned to look at our desi crowd. 

Everybody went around and selected the items of their choice except one great typical desi sasuma.

She took half a bowl of rice flakes, milk and sugar and said that that was her Indian ‘doodh pohe’. Avatar. Then in the next course, it was a slice of bread and some tea. She dipped bred slice in her tea cup and started eating it in the desi way.

DIL was aghast when she saw her doing this. Then she burst out laughing and before that sasuma could understand anything, she clicked her photograph.

“What is this for?” asked the desi sasuma.

“To post it on the internet so that all the Sheikhs of Dubai will commit suicide in shame.” Said DIL

“And why so?” asked others.

“Because it is impossible for them to accept the fact that the owner who is one of them couldn’t provide  you with desi breakfast of pohe, upama, thalipeeth, sabudana khichdi etc,  thus brought shame to Dubai’s name.

Everyone laughed, including the desi sasuma. Soon after, the group shifted to a hotel next door. They were divided into two groups – 3 oldies in one room and others in another room.

DIL had planned a busy first day schedule for the group. It included a visit to a mosque, the famous gold souk and ‘D’ Dubai mall.

Most of the tourists who were gathered at the mosque were foreigners. The lady guide spoke in fluent English. Hardly a few people were interested in her explanation. They were clicking photographs of their loved ones on the background of beautifully carved and painted walls of the mosque.

Actually young and old of our group were itching to go to the Gold Souk which was the star attraction of that trip.

MILs bubbly niece had come to Dubai only to visit the worlds famous Gold Souk. Many a times on the previous night, she was seen tossing and turning in bed and mumbling names like ear-ring, bangles, bracelet and finger rings.

DIL had told her to remove all her gold ornaments before leaving home, so that she could buy some things and wear them back home.

She almost jumped out of the running taxi when the driver mentioned and pointed towards the Gold Souk.

MIL and her co sisters too were looking astonished when they saw the amount of gold that was displayed along both the sides of the road leading towards the main bazaar.

Everybody went in and out of the shops clutching their handbags which contained a few hundred Riyals.

In every shop DIL would dutifully convert the Riyals price into Indian rupees and the enthu filled females would keep the jewellery back on the counter with a deep sigh.

Then there would be animated discussion on the design, weight and price. When they would learn that most of the artisans were Indians, and shop owner Gujjus and Marwadis they would think to buy jewellery in India. ‘Kam se kam jaroorat padne par same shop ki receipt dikhaakar new pieces khareed sakenge.’

“That’s what makes sense” would say DIL. She also had aborted the plan of buying diamond jewellery when the shop owner offered 60% discount on it.

“What nonsense! Obviously he is taking you for a ride. Don’t be idiots and fall for the white stones. Show me the fellow and I will deal with him.”
 

 Looking at DILs temper the shop keeper hid behind his showcase lest DIL would have hammered him with her 5 kg handbag. Much depressed with the Gold Souk experience, they all entered a 10X15 ft Indian restaurant and after a while came out with a sad smile on their face except the 3 sasumas who secretly winked at each other with much satisfaction at their acting talent  because they  didn’t mind the food.

After a little rest period, DIL took the MILs and SILs to Dubai Mall – actually she had booked tickets to Burj Khalifa – the tallest tower in the world.

She almost pulled everyone out of the shops by promising them another chance to visit the mall.

Nobody had any idea of what an astonishing engineering marvel they were about to see. They entered the lift and before they took a few breaths, they were on the 124th floor.

 MIL was so excited at the view from the 124th floor that she would have jumped from the top of the tower to get a close up of the panoramic view. Everybody was spell bound and hugged each other to remember the joy they shared at that moment of their life.

MIL fell short of words to thank her DIL.

DIL tumko main DILse dua deti hoon. May your daughter take you to a trip to Moon or Mars because by the time she grows up you would have seen all travel worthy places on the earth.” Said MIL blessing her dildaar DIL.

The group had a lovely dinner at Dubai Mall – each one as per their own choice. They wished each other a Happy Women’s Day while sharing an ice cream. They said they would love to be together on the next Women’s Day again at Dubai Mall.
 

The day ended dreamily.

The next day taxi came early in the morning. DIL wanted to show them an oasis. In the childhood all had learnt the meaning of the word and during youth had seen Omar Khayyam’s picture, writing shayari under a date palm tree in an oasis and a beautiful young lady serving him a drink through a long necked pitcher (Surahi). Then DIL said ‘oasis’ the full picture slid before MILs eyes.

DIL was directing the driver to take a left or a right turn where the long stretched, clean and beautiful road, had any turnings. Slowly the desert area began. After a while the driver had to ask some locals about the place that DIL had in mind. They reached a green patch of date palm trees of about a football ground size.

The driver was surprised when he found out that these mad six ladies had come all the way from Bombay to see these khajoor ke ped.

After about 15 minutes and a few photographs, we left the place and proceeded to see a heritage sight – a mud fort of the yore!

On the way DIL had arranged for a meal of hummus and pita bread. The non-vegetarians had something for them separately. Since the taste of Hummus pita bread did not agree with Sasuma’s Indian palate, they feasted on the remaining puranpolis. At the same eating joint Desi sasuma discovered a mouth-watering sweet called ‘Baklava’! really tasty! So each one of the group got it packed to carry it back to India!

The heritage sight looked somewhat like ‘Shaniwarwada’ – the peshwa’s fortress in Pune; except that it was constructed with mud and maintained beautifully with some wonderful black and white photographs. They were offered special, very sweet dates along with a small cup of coffee that hit them directly in the brain – it refreshed each one for the onward journey.

Groups visit to Jabel hafeet – an observation point on a small hill was packed with a great surprise! Very beautiful winding road with differently coloured rocky hills was a treat to the eyes. The view from the top was breathtaking. Around the sunset time the weather became so cold that everybody started shivering with chattering teeth. Those of the group who had brought warm clothes appreciated DILs wisdom in asking people to pack a sweater/ shawl and a scarf. The disobedient ones promised to follow DILs instructions to the last letter on the next trip.

Driving down the hill slope was even more beautiful because of the shining lights which gave the impression as if somebody had spilt the treasure of coloured bright gems all around the landscape.

MIL was so happy with the Dubai experience so far that she decided to sponsor a dinner at Saravana Bhavan. One more Indian meal – thank god! Indians are the best chefs for Indian palate – views were bifurcated but again – never mind!

Next day the ladies waited for DIL to board the taxi – Driver said that he would like to meet Mr R.B. When DIL was introduced to him as mr R.B, he bit his tongue and said “Mujhe laga koi aadmi hain”.

Kya ye aadmi nahin to koi jaanwar hain kya?” asked someone, embarrassing him completely.

It was a day of desert safari.

All ladies sat tightly clutching their neighbour’s hands and started reciting ‘Ram Ram Ram’ constantly. They enjoyed every lap of adventurous driving experience through the sand dunes. They all praised the driver for his tremendous control of the vehicle and his confidence in his driving skill.

In the night they enjoyed the well performed dances of Arab tribes like the fire dance, the belly dance and some tribal songs too. Veg and non veg food which was part of the deal which was just good enough to fill one’s stomach.

On the way back, everyone compared the experience of Sharjah eye with experience of the desert safari, and the desert safari won hands down!

Since every bone of the body had absorbed a number of shocks during the day so as soon as they lay in the bed they reached seventh heaven.

The last day of the trip was made memorable for the group when they were taken to an aquarium full of all kinds of deep water fishes.

The almighty god – the creator of the beautiful world had made each and every fish with his own hand. Unique colour, unique pattern and unique features.

It was an eye pleasing and heart warming experience. DIL generously treated the ladies to a drink of their choice and some goodies.

Later these groups went in three different directions. DIL  and niece in law went for a visit to the museum and a platter of special Arabian non-veg food. Niece went to meet her acquaintance, and the three ladies decided to return to the hotel.  Just when they were about reach their hotel room – two of MILs co-sisters decided to go for the last minute shopping.

With so much hectic routine for 5 days, MILs body demanded rest. ‘Sar salamat to pagadi pachaas – bachenge to aur bhi ladenge – Dubai dekhne fir aayenge’ said MIL to herself.

Everybody reached hotel in time to check out from the hotel.

That evening when the group reached airport for boarding a flight to India, MIL said proudly – ‘mera desh mahaan – par dubai jaisi jagah nahin’

 

Monday, March 31, 2014

Destination Dubai – Prelude


 

Having got her renewed passport in her hand, MIL started spreading the good word among her friends and relatives about her forthcoming foreign tour to an unknown location.

She also gave them invitation to join her in the tour without her DILs knowledge. Initially DIL was baffled when her other sasumas and sisters-in law started calling her regarding their desire to join the venture.

Arre baba MIL..do I have to leave the job and start a travel agency or what?”

“What happened DIL?” MIL asked innocently.

“I am getting many phone calls if I am planning to take you to foreign trip, on a cruise or by air, and what will be the fare I want to collect and if veg food is available on the trip and also if I am going to take my commission in cash or by cheque! I am tired of telling them that I have not started a travel agency and neither do I have a plan to do so.” Said DIL irritatedly.

“Poor DIL, I understand your problem. I am sorry but I thought as you collect your maikewale log and take them for the sightseeing in the foreign land – so you would do the same for your sasural wale log” MIL said defending her initiative in asking her relatives for their company.

“See MIL, I am not yet sure about my leave, so cannot promise anything to anyone. Or else I’ll chalk out and arrange everything for you people, and you can go and enjoy yourself.” Said DIL clearing out of the situation.

“You want me to go without you. Never! In that case, forget about it.”

MIL was so firm in her statement that DIL changed her mind at that very moment and said “OK. In that case I have a long weekend in the month of March, around Women’s day. I will take a day or two off and hum log Dubai par dhava bolenge

“Dubai? But why Dubai? Why not Malaysia – Singapore – Thailand..etc?” MIL reeled out the some of the famous tourist destinations which she had read about and heard about.

“Dubai will be our trial run – if you behave yourself then I will take you to other places in future” DIL pacified her MIL in a motherly spirit of pacifying a four year old child.

MIL thought over the proposal and nodded her head. Chalo – bhaagte bhoot ki langoti hi sahi! At least passport will be inaugurated.

After much discussion about the mode of travel  - whether by a cruise or by air – majority voted for the airways. One sasuma who was insisting on the cruise dropped out.

The final call was taken by six ladies – an ideal mixture of three oldies and three young ladies.  Out of these, four had visited different foreign countries. Only MIL and one of her nieces were the novices. That also guaranteed special attention to MILs need.

“Why are you sticking to the computer till late night every day?” MIL asked with much concern one day.

‘For your sake MIL, for you sake – I have to plan things in such a way that you will remember this trip all your life time!” said DIL dramatically.

“DIL, do whatever you want but don’t forget that all three sasumas are pure vegetarians.” MIL was worried about her ‘pet pooja’.

“OK MIL, don’t get hyper on this food issue. This is the thousandth reminder given by you! Chill now or...” DIL was irritated.

After this MIL opened and closed her mouth ten times but decided not to say a word. Later she had a hot discussion with her co-sisters and they secretly decided to carry snacks like chivda, chakali, laddoos and puranpoli which would last over a week. Arre, how can one enjoy their trip on an empty stomach? Be it a beautiful foreign country!

A fortnight before the visit, DIL handed over printed itinerary and a check list of things to be taken or avoided.

“What? A sweater or a shawl? A long sleeved top and a scarf too? And one empty plastic bottle of one litre capacity? Ye kya joke hai kya DIL? Are we going to a hill station in a desert town named Dubai?” MIL wondered whether DIL had gone crazy because of taking three sasumas along on a tour.

DIL only gave a stern look which meant  ‘Don’t ask questions what and why, but do and die’

Though it was not in DILs list of ‘Do’s ; MIL wanted to look her best on her first foreign tour – so she visited readymade shop for readymade  jeans and tops and some leggings too.

The counter girls struggled to shove MIL in XXXXL sized jeans and leggings.

“Never mind” said MIL to herself. Her next step was a beauty parlour.  The parlour attendants were shocked to get some extra tip from their regular customer after doing the haircut and eyebrows in MILs usual style.

MIL was surprised when one attendant asked her  Aunty – kidhar bahargaon jaa rahe ho kya?”

“Ya ya – I am going to Dubai a day after tomorrow – bolo kya laaoon tumhare liye?”

The parlour girl giggled and said – “sirf ek kilo sona from the gold souk! Jao na aunty – maja karo. Enjoy your trip”

After coming home MIL was disappointed. Neither her DKT, DIL or her granddaughter noticed her new haircut, nor did the housemaid ask her about the big and heavy shopping bag she had brought home.

Just before leaving for her office on the ‘D’ day, DIL left her backpack with MIL and told her that she would directly join them at the airport.

MILs co-sister, niece and niece in law had arrived the previous day. DIL had booked taxi for them to reach  the airport. In the evening all met at the airport.

Our Mumbai International airport looked like a busy railway station to MIL. She was a little disappointed but hoped for the best at Dubai.

DIL had organised a wheel chair for MIL because of MILs back problem. DIL did everything for MIL including MILs signature on the immigration form.

“Hope nobody pounces on DIL for this forgery” whispered MIL to her co-sister. They winked when all were allowed to get in after clearing the security check ups.

“DIL – after we get back, main teri najar utaarungi” said MIL in a choked voice when they took their seats in the plane.

“And what is that for?”

“For realising my dream of foreign visit – and what else?”

“OK, OK – don’t get emotional now. Only pray to god so that he gives me courage and patience to handle three sasumas!!” said DIL jokingly.

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Mission Resurrection



“MIL  - do you have a passport?” asked DIL one day.

“Of course I have one. It’s in the locker in a brand new state – totally unused in last 10 years. If someone needs one and is ready to use, I am ready to give it away at second hand price.” mumbled MIL.

“Nonsense! And then what? Go to jail?  You funny woman, here I am thinking of taking you for a foreign trip – and look at what I get to hear.” DIL was annoyed.

“What did you say? I can’t believe my ears!! Do you really mean what you said?” asked MIL doubting her generous DIL’s intention.

“I always mean what I say.” Growled DIL. “Now don’t look at me with those lovey-dovey eyes. Show me your precious passport. Let it see the light of day and breathe in the fresh air – poor passport!” said DIL looking at her MIL who was shocked and humbled by DILs heaven sent offer.

She had buried her ancient dream of visiting another country. In the past, she had pleaded with her darling hubby and two DKTs for accompanying her on a foreign trip. She was ready to sponsor their tickets. But due to one or the other reason, nothing had worked out. And now this DIL was ready to take her – without even being asked for the favour.

MIL started building a temple for DIL in her mind and also installed her statue in it and was ready to worship her twenty four hours a day.

She woke from her day dream when she heard “Arre baba, how much time you need to open the safe? Hope you are not using the wrong key like an idiot.”

MIL excused DIL for using her favourite word for her. MIL sheepishly removed her passport and handed it over to DIL.

DIL only looked at the expiry date and frowned. “Your foreign trip is postponed till you renew your passport. Did you notice that it was counting its last breath?” DIL looked pitifully at her ignorant MIL.

“Now what to do? I had not lifted my little finger to get this blessed passport. I only signed where my hubby told me to. And I got it delivered at home.” Said MIL woefully.

She added “Now who is going to help me out through this mess?”  MIL was buried under deep worry.
“Why? Tell your DIL KA TUKDA to download form from the net, fill in the details, collect the required documentation and submit it in the passport office. After that, wait till police come for verification.” DIL explained everything like a kind teacher would explain a difficult sum to a dull student – by coming down to his level.

“Police verification! But  why on earth should they do it? I don’t have any criminal record! And what would the neighbours think if they see police making enquiry about me – a poor retired primary teacher drawing a hefty pension of Rs 535 per month?” said MIL  worriedly.

“You and your silly questions. It’s a procedure – understand? And if the whole ignorant neighbourhood  thinks something is fishy, let them go to hell.”

DIL stamped her feet in frustration at her MILs  poor G.K and was ready to leave for her office.

“But last time nothing like this happened. I told you na...direct delivery.” Said MIL again to convince her earlier statement.

“Arre baba, that must have been through your influential hubby’s good contacts. Things used to be managed before computerisation.” Said DIL very confidently.

MIL fell in love again when she thought about her darling hubby.

In the following days MIL had to go through a million procedures, collect proof of her matriculation, graduation certificate, marriage, residence and what not.
She was bugged when the officials asked her questions like ‘what is your name’ and ‘where do you live’ in spite of having this information papers in front of them.
She faced the whole ordeal courageously. She waited patiently a month and a half to move the papers from one department to the other by keeping a track on computer. DIL and DKT helped her out of her depression when she could not bear the red tape delay.

All the while when the things were moving at the snail’s pace – MIL prayed for a magic wand that helps the great gundas in the society to get more than one passport within a week bypassing all the rules.

Then the golden day arrived. At one shubha muhurta the passport arrived at her doorstep – but alas she was not home to receive it.

After the maid gave her the good news, she rushed to the post office to claim it with papers to show that it was she whose name was mentioned in the address.

MILs eyes were filled with tears of happiness and she almost kissed the postman who handed over the envelope to her.

MIL carried the passport home like the Prasad of divine deity. She actually kept it on the altar and thanked god for his mercy.

Then when she was about to put her precious passport in the locker, she heard “MIL do you have a valid passport now?”

With stars in her eyes, MIL handed over her newly reborn passport to her DIL!


Saturday, January 4, 2014

She did it! DIL did it!

She did it! DIL did it!

DIL was talking of her unfulfilled wish Her eyes used to shine with the very mention of the word ‘cycling trip’...i.e a long distance cycling tour- to be precise!

‘DKT, why don’t the two of us plan this? Princess is a big girl now. She doesn’t need me much. Moreover, aaji is around, and if she doesn’t want to look after her, then I will keep her with one of my relatives or friends in Chennai.” DIL would plead her case strongly.

But DKT had his own reasons not to fall for his wifey’s plot.

“Ghar mein bhi tu aur bahar mein bhi tu! I have better things to do without you. Tu ja na baba” – was DKTs unuttered response.

“You have become a couch potato these days. You didn’t join me either in a full or half marathon! First you say yes, and then you chicken out...tu nahin sudhrega” DIL said in frustration.

“I am like this only. My mom also tried her best to sudharo me, but even she couldn’t do a bit in that respect. You want to go – so go na! Nobody is stopping you my darling.” DKT would say and get engrossed in a game that keeps 11 million people busy in watching 11 players hitting a ball and then running to either catch it or miss it.

“Chee chee ...MIL, you never exercised your control on your boys at the right age, thats why  your DILs have to bear their nakharas. Only if I was his mother I would have straightened him out.” Said DIL , now pointing her gun at her poor MIL.

MIL looked at her and shook her head from left to right and from right to left again and again. Then she said with much courage. “he was fine till he met someone who taught him how not to fall for wise advice. He was initiated into saying No to things which he did not want to follow. Sometimes people get a taste of their own medicine!!”

DIL  gave a dirty look to MIL and left the room in anger.

After two days she declared “I am going for a bicycle tour with two of my friends in the last week of princess’s winter vacation – come what may....DKT will take care of princess in my absence. Dont I do it when he is on tour?”

MIL gulped all her questions like when, what, where, with whom, what’s the duration, date of returning, etc.

MIL also knew that half the time she will have to baby sit Princess because DKT would feel bored sitting at home intermittently. But....

DIL planned and planned and planned all details of the tour and marked the days  on the kitchen calendar for MILs kind information only.

In the meantime the news reached FB and people wondered if it would be possible to achieve the target of 616 km in one week! To which DILs answer was unless she would try she would not know.

A geared bike came home from DKTs friend’s house and a real-time practice session was done for a few days early in the morning on BPT road. In spite of her office schedule and cooking duty at home – attending  school routine of Princess, DIL maintained her ‘never say die’ spirit!

DIL also took out time to do some gymming.

Nothing went unnoticed by MIL. She admired DILs spirit in awe and decided to support DILs mission by doing her little bit at home with DKT as the major role player.

The day of leaving for the tour dawned. The bicycle was taken and parcelled at the railway terminus to be unloaded at a fixed destination by DIL, who would reach the starting point by flight.

As per their schedule, 3 friends met at Mangalore and set off for the long awaited dream ride – MANGALORE  to TRIVANDRUM!



DIL kept in touch and informed about their daily run and health condition. She always sounded full of enthu and never mentioned about a single problem especially to MIL.

In fact, MIL was hugely surprised by the group's speed, enviable energy and awesome spirit in fulfilling the target much before their scheduled time.

“616 kilometers in 5 days ! almost 125 km per day! Great great great!!”

DIL did it! She did it!

After about 9 days, DIL was back after a short visit to her father, whom she considers as her source of inspiration in respect of her enthusiasm and spirit.

DIL came home late at night with her trademark big smile and she got a hero’s welcome  -A cake and a cute welcome card by the Princess awaited her.

After a hug from everyone in the family she wanted to  retire for her much needed R&R. Before that she said “Everything went on well, except for my stupid right hand who is protesting due to the extra stress on it. But to sum it up, it was a memorable experience when the crowd cheered us on the road which gave us that extra energy for that extra kilometre  with a dose of extra encouragement.

Am awesome, spirited, inspiring, unbelievable feat by DIL! As of now, something that will go down in the family record –
Half marathon  - 2004
Full marathon -  2008
616 KM bicycle tour - 2013




Saturday, December 21, 2013

The Ghost host

“M IL, I am very happy today! All loan is paid up for our flat! We deserve a party to celebrate!” said DIL’s message.
 “Great news! Congrats dear.” Replied MIL instantly. She was proud and happy with her DIL and DKTs achievement. They had repaid a huge loan in a short period of time – worked hard for their bright future.

 “Thank god for your mercy” MIL said a prayer and touched wood a thousand times in her mind. “So when are we going for the celebration?” MIL asked after DIL’s return from work.

 “What MIL...you know na our DIL KA TUKDA is honeymooning at Tadoba jungle. I only hope he has not proposed to any tiger out there - daal mein kuch kaala lagta hai – why has he gone to the same jungle again? Hope that there is no tribal woman affair!” DIL wondered loudly.

 “I am sure that he needn’t propose to a tribal woman or a tigress after he proposed to you 8 years ago.” Said MIL cheekily. MIL and DIL were in a very light mood, which was evident in their conversation. DKT arrived the next night and thereafter the topic of family party popped again.

 “If somebody is giving a party, a true KOBRA will never say no to it” said DKT, winking at wifey mischievously. “A greedy foody KOBRA – thats what I was destined to get as my darling hubby” DIL retorted in the same mischievous tone. “Oh my god – what happened to the party – decide and let me know” MIL said while leaving for her school. “Why don’t you ask your Dil Ka Tukda? After all, he is the one who decides where to go, what to eat, what to order – isn’t it? You and I only have to say – ‘Yes, your excellency’”
 DIL was in a teasing mood, but to much extent stating the fact too.

 DKT is a thorough foodie. Actually he would be a great asset to any of those Food Food, amhi saare khavaiyye type of TV channels. He is also a connoisseur of all kinds of food – may it be from any corner of India or any corner of the world. He doesn’t mind any slithering, burrowing, crawling, walking, swimming or flying specie of the animal kingdom! But in vegetable kingdom he is tremendously choosy. Only potato, methi, cauliflower and karela are the veggies he eats. Well, he does eat whatever is made by DIL or MIL, but only occasionally and only under duress. Because he knows otherwise the two best cooks of the world – i.e – DIL and MIL will leave his nest.

 When he is happy with home food, DKT agrees – ‘ghar ki daal – murgi baraabar’!

 Then first he eats with his nose, then eyes, then mouth and tongue! His facial expressions, the way he slurps, the way smile enlightens his face, the nodding of his head in happiness gives the feeling of ecstasy to the chefs!

 And thats the reason he doesn’t allow anyone to choose the eating joint for any party. “You are just a middle class mentality wali public – what do you know about good food? Your type is happy with wada pav, sekela sandwich, idli-sambar or thali at Udipis.” He says in such a tone that DIL and MIL look at each other guiltily.


MIL wonders if DKT was an exchanged baby at the maternity home – i.e. some elite’s baby was given to her in exchange for her hearts darling. DIL feels that while garlanding such a man standing behind the antarpath she by mistake has put her mala on some rajkumar.

 So on the day of the party by DIL, MIL and DIL and the princess of flat 409 walk behind DKT to his car and then to the joint of his choice.
He first chooses a place on the terrace which was the prime reason for choosing this restaurant. DIL and Princess take their seats. MIL is about to settle in the chair when DKT says – “Why are we sitting out? Lets go to the AC hall” DKT leads 3 of them to the dining hall.
He selects a table after giving much thought and points his finger to the table after refusing two corner tables recommended by the captain. After settling down he beckons the captain for the menu card. Menu is handed over to MIL-DIL-DKT and Princess.

 “What will you have to begin with? Anybody for soup ? Mocktail? Soft drink?” DKT enquires.
 MILs index index pops out! Old habits die hard.

"Once a teacher, always a teacher” says DKT under his breath. “What did I do?” asks MIL innocently. She is confused about DKTs reaction. “Why did you put your finger up like you are a first standard child? You are not in school – you are out in a hotel, and that too with ME.” Says DKT, stressing the word ME.

 “OK baba – all I want to say is that I will take soup.” MIL says softly.

 “You said soup, didn’t you? I know now you will say ‘cream of tomato’ - but I warn you, I am not going to order that silly choice of yours – Try –try something new – think differently and again don’t say sweet corn soup – thats again a pretty bad choice” DKT went on and on.

“Poor lady – let her have her own choice na re” DIL pleads for MIL, noticing MILs nervousness.

 DKT looks at DIL with contempt. “And you – you don’t plead for her. I know your choice very well. Given a choice, you madras will order your rassam. But I am not going to allow you that. I am going to order a fantastic soup for you. You will thank me all your life for my choice.”

Again DKT went on and on. MIL and DIL looked at each other helplessly.

 “Father I want Coke.” Says Princess of flat 409 – knowing her fathers choice for branded items. “Yes my baby – I will order exactly what you have asked for! You are having my noble genes.” Says the proud father, mocking MIL and DIL.

 MIL and DIL could hardly have three or four sips from their specially ordered concoction. They couldn’t even pretend that they enjoyed it. While MIL and DIL suffer their punishment, DKT orders his favourite foreign branded beer for himself.

 He goes over the menu looking for the weirdest names of starters which have some tongue twisting Chinese, Italian, Lebanese or say French names or ingredients which MIL is not familiar with, thought DIL seems to have heard of them.

 “Give me something made of paneer, potato, bread or corn. If you order anything else, you will have to eat it or pack it for home.” MIL says firmly.
 “Ya – ya – ya – you said it again!” DKT starts laughing so loudly that other people wonder about the content of the joke.
 “Dont be mad yaar – what makes you go overboard over the mention ‘pack it’?” DIL enquires.

 “Wifey, this mother of mine is more keen to pack the food even before ordering it. It must be her habit from the past birth......HOHOHOHOH HAHAHAHHA HEHEHEHE” DKT continues.

 Later with much reluctance he orders four starters for his vegetarian mother and six non veg starters for DIL and himself. Request to check for over-catering falls on the deaf ears.

 The captain, the waiter, the owner of the joint look at DKT with new respect. A person ordering dishes with complicated names and exorbitant prices visits once in a way.

They look happy that their chefs would get a chance to try their hands at these dishes. The cooks look for hefty tips and the manager for hefty bill.

 The last act of the play named ‘party’ ends somewhat like this – DLT says to MIL “ You have not touched those two starters at all! Why do you eat so little? Why cant you be giving me company in choosing a mocktail to go with those starters? You will feel more energetic and young if you become like me.” DKT shows concern over MILs eating habits.

 “Sorry darling – my stomach has shrunk with age – I cannot do justice to your kind offer.” MIL says politely.
 “And what about you wifey – you are just nibbling at the tandoori prawns – not yet touched the platter of kababs – what about the chicken stuffed with keema and tandoori fish?” he asks in little disappointed voice.

 “Thank you, but no thank you – I am already full with that soup and masala papad. I cant eat any more.”
DIL replies.

 DKT becomes upset with DIL and MIL and tells them that for the next party, he would only ask them to take a walk on the footpath, sniff the food and go away.

 He looks at the food spread and asks ‘You mean I have to finish these exotic dishes alone?”

 “Why not? Its all yours saar.” DIL is sure in her mind that the fish, the prawn, the goat – all will settle well in DKTs tummy along with a few cans of beer.

 DKT nibbles, chews, gobbles, swallows and nods his head in full satisfaction. “Any body for dessert? He asks, but looking at the expression on his family members faces, and also the tired, bored waiters he decides to leave the place and beckons the captain for the bill.

 When the bill appears, he points towards DIL and tells waiter to present the bill to her, saying that DIL is a bada sheth.
 The waiter gives an amused look to DKTs bada pet.

 Later while getting down the steps, DKT burps so loudly that a small child looks at him with confusion.

 “Dont worry – my mom says that burping and snoring are my dads signature tunes” says the princess of 409 to the scared child. Everybody laughs heartily. DILs party ends on this happy note.

 “Some people are ghost writers, and some people are ghost hosts” – MIL proclaims her last word.