A Hen that lays golden eggs

I am a hen that lays golden eggs! Shocked? Surprised? Unbelievable?  Then ask my DIL!  I lay golden eggs for her but in a very different form.

In these days of nuclear families, consisting of only husband, wife and children,  I happen to stay together with my son and DIL without encroaching on each other’s privacy.   My DIL goes to office leaving the kingdom to me,  till she is back in the evening.    When she is back – she takes over – I mean the kitchen.  I get two hearty, ready-made meals and therefore plenty of time to watch the serials on the idiot box.   I have convinced myself that I deserve this royal routine after working for twenty years for my husband and babies in the family.  My DIL lets me enjoy  this privilege.  The reason being that I am the hen that lays golden eggs.  Didn’t I tell you eggs are in a different form?

The story goes like this.  DIL is an avid traveller.   She has married my son by extracting a Kaikeyee type of boon from him,  so it seems.    She must have promised to take care of us – inlaws and family – for ten months of the year, provided nobody questions her about the remaining two months – where and when she plans to spend her time.

So the hisab goes like this – four weeks a year of small outings by adjusting her second and fourth Saturdays off.    A few days of paid leave and casual leave goes in emergency calls such as viral fever,   bad throat, late rising on weekdays,   maid’s chutti, etc.     But DIL plans her one month holiday program two years in advance.  That’s how it is!   She never shares with anyone the special goddess,  whose talisman she wears,  when she approaches her boss for that long vacation.    Not only does she plan her own vacation,  but at times she volunteers to take her mayake-ka-khandan or sasural ke senior citizens for their much lusted foreign trips.  Now that is the time I provide my DIL with my eggs!    Arre baba - that extra leave she takes on my account.

I am the famous sacrificial goat at her boss’s altar.  On many a holiday that she enjoys,   she is supposed to be nursing her poor mother-in-law’s broken hand,  leg or hip.   Some other time,  when she is away enjoying the Amazing Alps or Noisy Niagara,  she is supposed to have admitted me in various expensive super-specialty hospitals for life threatening emergencies like broken vertebral column,   cerebral haemorrhage or cardiac arrest.    And she being the only kind-hearted DIL,  she is supposed to be lovingly fulfilling her duty.    Her boss and colleagues not only sympathise with her,  but also with my husband for marrying such a sickly and accident-prone woman.    So as a reward for her sincerity,   DIL gets extra leave from her stupid boss.

You must be wondering as to why I don’t protest! Simple – I am blissfully unaware of my accidents, fractures and illnesses.    I never come to know that I am the poor person in her deathbed,  holding my DIL’s hand tightly and not letting her go out of my sight.   Just recently I happened to get a whiff of her idea and the ground under my feet started shaking!   “Please DIL,  don’t make me invalid or kill me for your long leave” I pleaded and begged with folded hands.

DIL smiled sweetly and said, “ Listen sasuma,  now for my extended Diwali holidays,  I am planning to say it is your cataract operation in both the eyes.   And then,   for five days leave adjoining the New Year,   my excuse will be your long pending ear operation to cure your deafness!    Be good, sasuma,  and calm down.  For my cho-chweet sasuma,    I have planned a family vacation to Japan in August 2016.    Last but not the least,   about the thought of killing you,      no,  I won’t! 

  How can I kill a hen that lays golden eggs?”