DIL MIL gaya

This disaster struck me seven years ago!  My son challenged our role in selecting a suitable match for him.    “Only I,  and not anybody else has a right to choose my better half.   After all it is my life” said he!      We had to gulp down our opinions  and listen to him though he had made many questionable choices in the past, one of them was choosing me as his mother, wasn’t it?

One day after two years of courting and spending most of his unemployment period  under her  kind favours, he brought  the girl home and declared his intention of marrying her.

Happy I was, because I wanted him to marry somebody,  but  this somebody in front of me was not THE person I had visualized about.  I knew something was going on behind our backs when he used to plan escapades with his “friend” for a week or two and THIS was the “friend” he meant.  The girl in front of us was a girl from south,  a short, dark girl with bright clear eyes.    

After a short conversation with her,  she seemed to be a tough nut to crack.   She had a strong opinion about everything I discussed with her.   Most of her arguments showed her independent thinking ahd her “who cares” attitude.    She did not believe in following any accepted norms of behaviour or societal consents.  She was ruled by her head and not heart,  said she.  The whole affair was a rude shock to us but we had to accept this for the sake of keeping the family together.    So seven years ago,  this girl entered our family as our DIL.

There was considerable change in our lifestyle after DIL entered our household.   Initially it was a tight rope walk for both the parties.   Both were wanting to prove their point of view.  There was much gap in our thinking styles which I assigned to the famous generation gap funda.   The son and the father-in-law were as neutral as they were allowed to be!

Time went by,   guiding principles like “ Live and Let Live”, “No problem, chill”, “No issues”, “It’s my life”, “It is  ok”,  “Let us not discuss this matter anymore” etc have helped us settle down amicably.  Over the  years,   our relations have thawed to a large extent.   Though even now,  she hates to admit that she is at times tired, angry, upset, wishes to complain about something, needs help,  wants to cry.    She doesn’t do it because it is not in her nature to accept any kind of weakness – but now I do get a clue about it from her expressions.   She too has learnt when to leave me alone and when not to take me for granted or trample my toes!

I have also realized that under the tough and headstrong exterior of DIL,    lies a soft, friendly and caring person, who is unable to convey or express her emotions.  But all the same,  DIL never fails to attend to family members’ needs.  I have experienced DIL’s capacity to handle emergencies deftly by taking timely decisions.   I have felt that most of our relatives have changed their opinions about DIL after getting to know her concern and care for them.   But during our daily routine “To each his own” maxim is followed.

My DIL is not much into pooja, pathha or festival celebrations nor does she believe in following any of the family traditions or our practices.     But yes, she teaches our family helpers and needy people with kindness.  Though our opinions differ on many a matter,  we follow the policy of peaceful co-existence and symbiosis.  Because of the dosti of DIL & MIL,  my son feels more relaxed and secure about “His” family life.   Balnace could have tilted either in his favour or against,  if one of us had not been samazdar!   Samazdari mein hi hoshiyari hai!     

Now why did I take a chance to go over the past happenings?  I dared to do it because earlier many a times DIL laughingly used to threaten me and her hubby to put us behind bars on charges of emotional harassment,  if she were to get even a thin chance – she being the daughter of her advocate father!

But now that seven years itch is over,  we have started singing this love duet –

                DIL          : Kya bolti tu?

                MIL        : Kya mai bolu?

                Sun – suna – jati kya police thana

                Kya karu mai jaake abhi police thana?

                Arre marenge, pitenge,  humko vo thokenge

                Roegi  Sasuma teri, roegi  Sasuma

                Arre jaane dona Sasuma – Rehne do na sasuma

                Apun ka DIL MIL gaya na?