She did it! DIL did it!

She did it! DIL did it!

DIL was talking of her unfulfilled wish Her eyes used to shine with the very mention of the word ‘cycling trip’...i.e a long distance cycling tour- to be precise!

‘DKT, why don’t the two of us plan this? Princess is a big girl now. She doesn’t need me much. Moreover, aaji is around, and if she doesn’t want to look after her, then I will keep her with one of my relatives or friends in Chennai.” DIL would plead her case strongly.

But DKT had his own reasons not to fall for his wifey’s plot.

“Ghar mein bhi tu aur bahar mein bhi tu! I have better things to do without you. Tu ja na baba” – was DKTs unuttered response.

“You have become a couch potato these days. You didn’t join me either in a full or half marathon! First you say yes, and then you chicken out...tu nahin sudhrega” DIL said in frustration.

“I am like this only. My mom also tried her best to sudharo me, but even she couldn’t do a bit in that respect. You want to go – so go na! Nobody is stopping you my darling.” DKT would say and get engrossed in a game that keeps 11 million people busy in watching 11 players hitting a ball and then running to either catch it or miss it.

“Chee chee ...MIL, you never exercised your control on your boys at the right age, thats why  your DILs have to bear their nakharas. Only if I was his mother I would have straightened him out.” Said DIL , now pointing her gun at her poor MIL.

MIL looked at her and shook her head from left to right and from right to left again and again. Then she said with much courage. “he was fine till he met someone who taught him how not to fall for wise advice. He was initiated into saying No to things which he did not want to follow. Sometimes people get a taste of their own medicine!!”

DIL  gave a dirty look to MIL and left the room in anger.

After two days she declared “I am going for a bicycle tour with two of my friends in the last week of princess’s winter vacation – come what may....DKT will take care of princess in my absence. Dont I do it when he is on tour?”

MIL gulped all her questions like when, what, where, with whom, what’s the duration, date of returning, etc.

MIL also knew that half the time she will have to baby sit Princess because DKT would feel bored sitting at home intermittently. But....

DIL planned and planned and planned all details of the tour and marked the days  on the kitchen calendar for MILs kind information only.

In the meantime the news reached FB and people wondered if it would be possible to achieve the target of 616 km in one week! To which DILs answer was unless she would try she would not know.

A geared bike came home from DKTs friend’s house and a real-time practice session was done for a few days early in the morning on BPT road. In spite of her office schedule and cooking duty at home – attending  school routine of Princess, DIL maintained her ‘never say die’ spirit!

DIL also took out time to do some gymming.

Nothing went unnoticed by MIL. She admired DILs spirit in awe and decided to support DILs mission by doing her little bit at home with DKT as the major role player.

The day of leaving for the tour dawned. The bicycle was taken and parcelled at the railway terminus to be unloaded at a fixed destination by DIL, who would reach the starting point by flight.

As per their schedule, 3 friends met at Mangalore and set off for the long awaited dream ride – MANGALORE  to TRIVANDRUM!

DIL kept in touch and informed about their daily run and health condition. She always sounded full of enthu and never mentioned about a single problem especially to MIL.

In fact, MIL was hugely surprised by the group's speed, enviable energy and awesome spirit in fulfilling the target much before their scheduled time.

“616 kilometers in 5 days ! almost 125 km per day! Great great great!!”

DIL did it! She did it!

After about 9 days, DIL was back after a short visit to her father, whom she considers as her source of inspiration in respect of her enthusiasm and spirit.

DIL came home late at night with her trademark big smile and she got a hero’s welcome  -A cake and a cute welcome card by the Princess awaited her.

After a hug from everyone in the family she wanted to  retire for her much needed R&R. Before that she said “Everything went on well, except for my stupid right hand who is protesting due to the extra stress on it. But to sum it up, it was a memorable experience when the crowd cheered us on the road which gave us that extra energy for that extra kilometre  with a dose of extra encouragement.

Am awesome, spirited, inspiring, unbelievable feat by DIL! As of now, something that will go down in the family record –

Half marathon  - 2004

Full marathon -  2008

616 KM bicycle tour - 2013

The Ghost host

“M IL, I am very happy today! All loan is paid up for our flat! We deserve a party to celebrate!” said DIL’s message.
 “Great news! Congrats dear.” Replied MIL instantly. She was proud and happy with her DIL and DKTs achievement. They had repaid a huge loan in a short period of time – worked hard for their bright future.

 “Thank god for your mercy” MIL said a prayer and touched wood a thousand times in her mind. “So when are we going for the celebration?” MIL asked after DIL’s return from work.

 “What MIL...you know na our DIL KA TUKDA is honeymooning at Tadoba jungle. I only hope he has not proposed to any tiger out there - daal mein kuch kaala lagta hai – why has he gone to the same jungle again? Hope that there is no tribal woman affair!” DIL wondered loudly.

 “I am sure that he needn’t propose to a tribal woman or a tigress after he proposed to you 8 years ago.” Said MIL cheekily. MIL and DIL were in a very light mood, which was evident in their conversation. DKT arrived the next night and thereafter the topic of family party popped again.

 “If somebody is giving a party, a true KOBRA will never say no to it” said DKT, winking at wifey mischievously. “A greedy foody KOBRA – thats what I was destined to get as my darling hubby” DIL retorted in the same mischievous tone. “Oh my god – what happened to the party – decide and let me know” MIL said while leaving for her school. “Why don’t you ask your Dil Ka Tukda? After all, he is the one who decides where to go, what to eat, what to order – isn’t it? You and I only have to say – ‘Yes, your excellency’”
 DIL was in a teasing mood, but to much extent stating the fact too.

 DKT is a thorough foodie. Actually he would be a great asset to any of those Food Food, amhi saare khavaiyye type of TV channels. He is also a connoisseur of all kinds of food – may it be from any corner of India or any corner of the world. He doesn’t mind any slithering, burrowing, crawling, walking, swimming or flying specie of the animal kingdom! But in vegetable kingdom he is tremendously choosy. Only potato, methi, cauliflower and karela are the veggies he eats. Well, he does eat whatever is made by DIL or MIL, but only occasionally and only under duress. Because he knows otherwise the two best cooks of the world – i.e – DIL and MIL will leave his nest.

 When he is happy with home food, DKT agrees – ‘ghar ki daal – murgi baraabar’!

 Then first he eats with his nose, then eyes, then mouth and tongue! His facial expressions, the way he slurps, the way smile enlightens his face, the nodding of his head in happiness gives the feeling of ecstasy to the chefs!

 And thats the reason he doesn’t allow anyone to choose the eating joint for any party. “You are just a middle class mentality wali public – what do you know about good food? Your type is happy with wada pav, sekela sandwich, idli-sambar or thali at Udipis.” He says in such a tone that DIL and MIL look at each other guiltily.

MIL wonders if DKT was an exchanged baby at the maternity home – i.e. some elite’s baby was given to her in exchange for her hearts darling. DIL feels that while garlanding such a man standing behind the antarpath she by mistake has put her mala on some rajkumar.

 So on the day of the party by DIL, MIL and DIL and the princess of flat 409 walk behind DKT to his car and then to the joint of his choice.
He first chooses a place on the terrace which was the prime reason for choosing this restaurant. DIL and Princess take their seats. MIL is about to settle in the chair when DKT says – “Why are we sitting out? Lets go to the AC hall” DKT leads 3 of them to the dining hall.
He selects a table after giving much thought and points his finger to the table after refusing two corner tables recommended by the captain. After settling down he beckons the captain for the menu card. Menu is handed over to MIL-DIL-DKT and Princess.

 “What will you have to begin with? Anybody for soup ? Mocktail? Soft drink?” DKT enquires.
 MILs index index pops out! Old habits die hard.

"Once a teacher, always a teacher” says DKT under his breath. “What did I do?” asks MIL innocently. She is confused about DKTs reaction. “Why did you put your finger up like you are a first standard child? You are not in school – you are out in a hotel, and that too with ME.” Says DKT, stressing the word ME.

 “OK baba – all I want to say is that I will take soup.” MIL says softly.

 “You said soup, didn’t you? I know now you will say ‘cream of tomato’ - but I warn you, I am not going to order that silly choice of yours – Try –try something new – think differently and again don’t say sweet corn soup – thats again a pretty bad choice” DKT went on and on.

“Poor lady – let her have her own choice na re” DIL pleads for MIL, noticing MILs nervousness.

 DKT looks at DIL with contempt. “And you – you don’t plead for her. I know your choice very well. Given a choice, you madras will order your rassam. But I am not going to allow you that. I am going to order a fantastic soup for you. You will thank me all your life for my choice.”

Again DKT went on and on. MIL and DIL looked at each other helplessly.

 “Father I want Coke.” Says Princess of flat 409 – knowing her fathers choice for branded items. “Yes my baby – I will order exactly what you have asked for! You are having my noble genes.” Says the proud father, mocking MIL and DIL.

 MIL and DIL could hardly have three or four sips from their specially ordered concoction. They couldn’t even pretend that they enjoyed it. While MIL and DIL suffer their punishment, DKT orders his favourite foreign branded beer for himself.

 He goes over the menu looking for the weirdest names of starters which have some tongue twisting Chinese, Italian, Lebanese or say French names or ingredients which MIL is not familiar with, thought DIL seems to have heard of them.

 “Give me something made of paneer, potato, bread or corn. If you order anything else, you will have to eat it or pack it for home.” MIL says firmly.
 “Ya – ya – ya – you said it again!” DKT starts laughing so loudly that other people wonder about the content of the joke.
 “Dont be mad yaar – what makes you go overboard over the mention ‘pack it’?” DIL enquires.

 “Wifey, this mother of mine is more keen to pack the food even before ordering it. It must be her habit from the past birth......HOHOHOHOH HAHAHAHHA HEHEHEHE” DKT continues.

 Later with much reluctance he orders four starters for his vegetarian mother and six non veg starters for DIL and himself. Request to check for over-catering falls on the deaf ears.

 The captain, the waiter, the owner of the joint look at DKT with new respect. A person ordering dishes with complicated names and exorbitant prices visits once in a way.

They look happy that their chefs would get a chance to try their hands at these dishes. The cooks look for hefty tips and the manager for hefty bill.

 The last act of the play named ‘party’ ends somewhat like this – DLT says to MIL “ You have not touched those two starters at all! Why do you eat so little? Why cant you be giving me company in choosing a mocktail to go with those starters? You will feel more energetic and young if you become like me.” DKT shows concern over MILs eating habits.

 “Sorry darling – my stomach has shrunk with age – I cannot do justice to your kind offer.” MIL says politely.
 “And what about you wifey – you are just nibbling at the tandoori prawns – not yet touched the platter of kababs – what about the chicken stuffed with keema and tandoori fish?” he asks in little disappointed voice.

 “Thank you, but no thank you – I am already full with that soup and masala papad. I cant eat any more.”
DIL replies.

 DKT becomes upset with DIL and MIL and tells them that for the next party, he would only ask them to take a walk on the footpath, sniff the food and go away.

 He looks at the food spread and asks ‘You mean I have to finish these exotic dishes alone?”

 “Why not? Its all yours saar.” DIL is sure in her mind that the fish, the prawn, the goat – all will settle well in DKTs tummy along with a few cans of beer.

 DKT nibbles, chews, gobbles, swallows and nods his head in full satisfaction. “Any body for dessert? He asks, but looking at the expression on his family members faces, and also the tired, bored waiters he decides to leave the place and beckons the captain for the bill.

 When the bill appears, he points towards DIL and tells waiter to present the bill to her, saying that DIL is a bada sheth.
 The waiter gives an amused look to DKTs bada pet.

 Later while getting down the steps, DKT burps so loudly that a small child looks at him with confusion.

 “Dont worry – my mom says that burping and snoring are my dads signature tunes” says the princess of 409 to the scared child. Everybody laughs heartily. DILs party ends on this happy note.

 “Some people are ghost writers, and some people are ghost hosts” – MIL proclaims her last word.

DIL, MIL and their blunderful DKT

“Mom, I am not available for four days of the coming weekend, don’t ount me in for anything.” Announced DKT when supermom/ MIL was planning a trip to Pune in her Diwali holidays.

DKT’s announcement poured cold water on Supermom/ MILs programme.

“What do you mean? Where are you off to?” she asked.

“I am going to Tadoba sanctuary with my group to see and shoot tigers.” Was DKTs answer.

“Arre, you went  to Bandhavgad last year, before that you went  to Tadoba and then to Bandhavgad again to shoot tigers” enquired supermom MIL with much concern for the tigers in her loving voice.

“Mom...you know that when I say shoot it, it means to click their photos with my brand new multi mega pixel camera.” Explained DKT.

“I know, I know...I am not an illiterate person who thinks that shoot means kill. I am also aware that shooting wild animals is banned.” Said supermom in one breath and then continued “How different can a Tadoba tiger be from a Bandhavgad tiger, I wonder?”

“Oh grandma...you don’t understand that the Tadoba tigers are cousins of the Bandhavgad tigers. So they are a little different – isn’t it so, father?” Princess of flat no. 409 chirped in between.

“You are right baby....see your grandmother doesn’t know” said the proud father.

Then he added in a hurt tone “Your grandmother thinks I have no work to do and lots of money to waste, so I am going to the jungle for entertainment.”

Reluctantly supermom MIL kept her mouth shut.

DKT works from home. Many people envy him because he doesn’t have to commute in heavy traffic hours, doesn’t need  to wear formal clothing, follow a fixed regime of getting up early to reach in time to the office to escape boss’s stares and glares.

DKT is his own boss. The only problem of this working style, is that it results into extreme boredom for him.

The wifey goes in the morning and comes back late in the evening, irritated by the traffic jams.

“Wifey – lets watch a late night movie today” DKT proposes. He loves extempore programmes.

“No way! I had a very long meeting with our directors today – unending – unfruitful discussions. A very trying day. Chee!!” Six out of ten times, this is DILs reply.

“Why cant you understand me? It is so frustrating and irritating to sit at home day after day and then once in a way ask my kind hearted wife – she flatly refuses because I didn’t give her 3 months prior notice in writing for watching a movie! Bah – no spontaneity, no fun. What a lucky guy I am” DKT grumbles.

DIL doesn’t like eleventh hour programmes. Besides office, she has other excuses, like daughters and MILs dinner, or sometimes replying to some urgent mails. Even when MIL generously excuses from the duty towards her, she wants to finish her sleep backlog.

If Dil Ka Tukda still insists, she gives him a counter proposal – or say permission – to bring another wife who will be at his beck and call – dress up and accompany him – whenever and wherever he wants her to go with him.

‘Wise man’, that MILs DKT has not yet fallen for this temptation.

But yes, he has joined many different hobby groups and has started developing interest in photography and biking. With these friends he goes for hiking, and sometimes he decides to move about in town for western music festivals, dramas, movies etc and no one objects to his escapades.

All in all, everybody is happy. The Tadoba trip was one such trip that he had planned.

On the day of the trip the supermom asked DKT “have you checked your journey time dear?”

“What do you mean? Ofcourse, I am sure about my journey time, and date and boarding place.” Retorted DKT.

“Then tell me what time would you be leaving and what about booking of Meru taxi?” Supermom was not ready to give up easily.  She wanted to confirm and reconfirm everything.

“ I have already booked Meru for 9’o’ clock. I have to go to CST. The train starts at 10.15 PM. I have kept a margin of 1 hour 15 min to get to the station, though actually I need only 15 minutes.

Anything else  you want to know or should I watch my TV program?” DKT gave a harsh look, which left MIL totally speechless.

“OK, I will tell DIL to keep your dinner rady by usual time – i.e 8 PM”  said supermom a.k.a MIL and went back to her reading.

Suddenly at about 8.10, MIL heard a loud laughter and she heard DIL – “MIL, MIL – your DKT  has missed his train! He was supposed to board it at 8.15 from CST and he is still sitting here – TV se aankhen laga raha hai.”

Supermom was shocked. In the morning her DKT had assured her about his programme. She was reminded of two such earlier episodes where DKT had done similar faux pas. But she also knew that there was no use getting upset over spilt milk. She gave time to DKT to settle down, and after about an hour, went to his room. DIL and DKT were watching Masterchef!

MIL couldn’t believe her eyes! So cool....no sign of sorrow over loss of ticket money! God bless DKT. 

Supermom had come to console DKT, but instead DKT consoled her – “ Cheer up mom, don’t worry. As soon as wifey told me about my mistake, I immediately booked plane ticket for morning flight. I will reach Nagpur before them and catch up with the group.”

“No remorse over the lost money?”

“Arre mom...hamaare liye paisa hai – hum paise ke liye nahin hai! And also to remind you of an old saying – ‘To err is human’ !”

DKT’s principles were oozing out of his wide smiling mouth. Supermom was still in serious mood.  She warned him –“To err is human – but to err again and again certainly needs a sermon. Have you checked date and time of your journey at least now?” she asked.

DKT shook his head at a complete 180 degree angle.

Satisfied, she came back and retired to her bedroom. 

At around 11’o’clock, she heard a loud banging on her bedroom door. When she opened it, DIL entered, laughing like a mad person who had had too many glasses of bhaang! Totally uncontrollable laughter.

“Now what?” asked MIL, confusion writ large on her face.

Trying to control her bouts of laughter, DIL said, “MIL, I think that you must start a diet of almonds by the kilo fir our DKT. Also, I will buy Shankhapushpi from the ayurvedic medicine shop – for our darling DKT. “

‘But why dear?”

“To improve his memory power’

“And whats wrong with my son’s memory, may I know? He still  remembers his wife’s and mom’s face, isn’t it?

“He does – HAHAHAHAHA – he surely does. HEHEHEHE – but again he has committed a silly mistake.”

“DIL – this is too much – calling my son a silly person!”

“Sorry mom – but he has booked his ticket for 15^th November, instead of 14^th November, when he actually needs to travel on 14^th morning! Again he needs to cancel his air ticket and buy a new one for tomorrow!”

“And how did you notice that?”

“I happened to check his ticket very carefully to avoid embarrassment at the airport.”

“Why did you do it, sonny boy?”

Before DKT could answer, DIL jumped, clapped, laughed and said “it is very simple! He forgot today’s date! He thought it was 14^th instead of 13^th.” She kept on laughing and added – “MIL, please warn him not to go too much close to a tiger during his tadoba excursion. He has already made two mistakes. If he goes too close to a tiger for close up, it is unlikely that the tiger will forgive him – instead it will happily gobble him up! Tigers DONT FORGET their lunch time!”

JAI HO MASTERCHEF

“Hey, wifey , what is a Sunday special breakfast tomorrow ?” asked DKT.

“Vada Sambar , honey and may be a coconut chatany” answered DIL.

“DIL, my relatives from Poone are coming to see us next week , we must sit and plan some menu” MIL said to DIL.

“Don’t worry MIL, I’ll make nice Rassam Vada for them. I am sure they will dance with joy when they’ll get to eat soft soft Vadas with the yummy Rasam”  DIL started drooling over the taste of her own recipe.

“Mumma , what will you make for my Birthday Party this time ? I know Baba is going to order the Chhota Bheem Cake but what is your plan ?” asked the Princess of the flat no B- 409

“Darling , I’ll make cocktail Idlis and Dahiwada. Your friends will lick their fingers to no end” said DIL , the Royal mother.

Dil Ka Tukda overheard the dialogue and butted in –

“And now if I tell you that my friends are coming to enjoy a cricket match on our 50’inch TV , over lunch , you’ll surely present your stereotype Idli Vada treat to them ! Treat – Haha !” blurted DKT – “You and Your Vadas , Great show !”

DKT completed his sentence to the effect of lighting the wick of a bomb.

And the bomb ….. I mean DIL exploded!

“Ya……. You nincompoop – you laughing at my vadas – I am managing my job , daughter , MIL and to top it all YOU – a Nut for last many years – Everybody praises my vadas except you – if you don’t like them then why do you gobble them?” DIL was raging with frustration and anger.  

“Hee – Hee – Hee – I know you South Indians cannot stand an insult to your culinary skill. Just accept and forget that you have VADAMANIA !”

“Ya , Ya , I have Vadamania and you’ve Vadaphobia!- and tell me , what did you expect when you married a South Indian girl like me ! Shrikhand – Puri and masala Bhat along with watery Aamti and Taak ?” DIL now started teasing DKT for his Maharashtrian genealogy.

MIL thought it was a right time for her to wave a white flag !

“Stop arguing over Vadapuran! Let us reach a amicable solution. Tell me who started the  fight ?” asked MIL .

“Who else but your DKT – sits the whole day watching Australian , American , Indian Masterchef programmes , salivating and brooding over those stupid TV shows! All wives have  nightmares because of their husband’s expectations of exotic dishes made by those chefs! Why can’t the men folk move to the kitchen and try their hands at them” – DIL challenged DKT.

“OK- OK –I’ll show you that I am not just whiling away my time but can beat you in your own domain!” DKT accepted the challenge magnanimously! but on a condition of you assisting me”.

“Done!” said DIL.   

And from the next day the 8 X 6 kitchen became abode for our local Sanjeev Kapoor and the family members assisting DKT as and when needed – which was almost all the time.

The foodstores at the malls were raided for the rare ingredients which were unseen by the poor Mom’s kitchen !

The often heard sentences were “What you don’t have thousand island dressing ?”

“Not even the Italian herbs ?”

“And what about Chinese sauces? And I always thought you two ladies manage the full fledged kitchen !”

MIL and DIL were asked to shell , shred , dice , prick , soak , grate , grind , roast , stir fry , shallow fry , deep fry ingredients to make the Master Chef’s Special !

Kitchen sink overflowed with crockery, cutlery and number of pots and pans! Once or twice MIL almost slipped on the wet kitchen floor. Princess too participated by handing over the different articles needed. DIL’s hands were kept busy in arranging the olives , mushrooms , jalapeno pepper , coloured bell pepper , seasoning , grated cheese etc.

And when the dish was ready the first thing was not that offering to God in old Indian way but to click a photo to post it on Face Book ! 

Looking at all this DIL would smile mischievously but look at her DKT adoringly  and praise him   for his excellent performance . 

MIL-  the occasional consultant would be HAPPY any which way – whether DIL or DKT – she would be sure to get Tasty food – either Idli Vada or Pizza , Pasta , Tomato – Sev curry or Papad Subji in curd gravy !

Kudos to Master chef ! 

Sugandhi Dosti – Fragrant Friendship

I have two DIL’s.   No,  not the organ that you understand by the word DIL!   Otherwise I would have gone down in the book of Medical Miracles and also some doctors would have been waiting with a scalpel to conduct my post-mortem.   This DIL is a different DIL – ie like an old time Crack Jack biscuit.

So the one who is a different DIL  accidentally noticed my love for branded perfumes.  She had entered my room when I was adoringly looking at my collection of empty perfume bottles of yore!    Some of them had been presented to me by my friends and one set was a surprise gift on my birthday by my husband... in the last century!     That was when he happened to visit UK on an official tour.  I loved those cutely shaped bottles and the perfume till it lasted.  Even after they were empty,  they emitted fragrance and revived my memories.    I had preserved the bottles and used to flaunt my treasure to my grandchildren.   On one such occasion,   DIL noticed the lust in my eyes.

This DIL of mine is a very practical person.  She has her own idea of enjoying life’s pleasure.  She stands 1000kms away from all the girlie madness over fashionable clothes, shoes, accessories and perfumes.   She is very happy with her jeans,  tees, backpacks and of course sports shoes – all these items are branded too!

According to this different DIL of mine,  50% of the ladyfolk ,  ie her MIL’s tribe,  waste time in front of the idiot box.   Another 45% girlie folk do nothing but drown themselves in useless discussions over the movies / current fashions / parties / maids  and their nagging MIL’s even if they happen to be married to the most desirable man in town.    And the remaining 5% hardly shows interest in world finance,  share market or global tourism.      My DIL says only if this scenario changes can Mumbai become Shanghai!

Now what was I talking about – yes, perfumes!    So this DIL of mine who believes in simple living, touring and travelling,   hiking and backpacking went for her annual holiday to USA via Kuwait.   She shocked me when she unpacked her backpack.    In a flash,  she took out a set of Dior’s LA collection of perfumes,  and with a bow she presented it to me – For You she said.   My eyes sparkled and filled with tears at the same time.   I still enjoy the lingering fragrance of  Midnight Poison,   Dior Addict Shine,  J’adore,   Miss Dior Cherie and Dior Addict 2.   I love them all.    Lately my granddaughter  too has followed suit.   She never forgets to remind me to wear perfume before leaving for any function.  Of course she chooses her perfume on her own.

Just recently I found the falling levels in those cute little bottles and commented on it  during dinner.  And Oh-la-la!   My DIL took the hint and I got what I wanted – a collection of Lancome perfumes.  DIL  brought it for her mad MIL  when she went for her annual vacation to USA – Sugandhi Dosti ka Haath!   DIL, you have your MIL’s DIL.    

 

Thanks DIL for spreading the Fragrance of Friendship!

DIL MIL gaya

This disaster struck me seven years ago!  My son challenged our role in selecting a suitable match for him.    “Only I,  and not anybody else has a right to choose my better half.   After all it is my life” said he!      We had to gulp down our opinions  and listen to him though he had made many questionable choices in the past, one of them was choosing me as his mother, wasn’t it?

One day after two years of courting and spending most of his unemployment period  under her  kind favours, he brought  the girl home and declared his intention of marrying her.

Happy I was, because I wanted him to marry somebody,  but  this somebody in front of me was not THE person I had visualized about.  I knew something was going on behind our backs when he used to plan escapades with his “friend” for a week or two and THIS was the “friend” he meant.  The girl in front of us was a girl from south,  a short, dark girl with bright clear eyes.    

After a short conversation with her,  she seemed to be a tough nut to crack.   She had a strong opinion about everything I discussed with her.   Most of her arguments showed her independent thinking ahd her “who cares” attitude.    She did not believe in following any accepted norms of behaviour or societal consents.  She was ruled by her head and not heart,  said she.  The whole affair was a rude shock to us but we had to accept this for the sake of keeping the family together.    So seven years ago,  this girl entered our family as our DIL.

There was considerable change in our lifestyle after DIL entered our household.   Initially it was a tight rope walk for both the parties.   Both were wanting to prove their point of view.  There was much gap in our thinking styles which I assigned to the famous generation gap funda.   The son and the father-in-law were as neutral as they were allowed to be!

Time went by,   guiding principles like “ Live and Let Live”, “No problem, chill”, “No issues”, “It’s my life”, “It is  ok”,  “Let us not discuss this matter anymore” etc have helped us settle down amicably.  Over the  years,   our relations have thawed to a large extent.   Though even now,  she hates to admit that she is at times tired, angry, upset, wishes to complain about something, needs help,  wants to cry.    She doesn’t do it because it is not in her nature to accept any kind of weakness – but now I do get a clue about it from her expressions.   She too has learnt when to leave me alone and when not to take me for granted or trample my toes!

I have also realized that under the tough and headstrong exterior of DIL,    lies a soft, friendly and caring person, who is unable to convey or express her emotions.  But all the same,  DIL never fails to attend to family members’ needs.  I have experienced DIL’s capacity to handle emergencies deftly by taking timely decisions.   I have felt that most of our relatives have changed their opinions about DIL after getting to know her concern and care for them.   But during our daily routine “To each his own” maxim is followed.

My DIL is not much into pooja, pathha or festival celebrations nor does she believe in following any of the family traditions or our practices.     But yes, she teaches our family helpers and needy people with kindness.  Though our opinions differ on many a matter,  we follow the policy of peaceful co-existence and symbiosis.  Because of the dosti of DIL & MIL,  my son feels more relaxed and secure about “His” family life.   Balnace could have tilted either in his favour or against,  if one of us had not been samazdar!   Samazdari mein hi hoshiyari hai!     

Now why did I take a chance to go over the past happenings?  I dared to do it because earlier many a times DIL laughingly used to threaten me and her hubby to put us behind bars on charges of emotional harassment,  if she were to get even a thin chance – she being the daughter of her advocate father!

But now that seven years itch is over,  we have started singing this love duet –

                DIL          : Kya bolti tu?

                MIL        : Kya mai bolu?

                Sun – suna – jati kya police thana

                Kya karu mai jaake abhi police thana?

                Arre marenge, pitenge,  humko vo thokenge

                Roegi  Sasuma teri, roegi  Sasuma

                Arre jaane dona Sasuma – Rehne do na sasuma

                Apun ka DIL MIL gaya na?